It Don’t Come Easy.

I’ve recently come to the realization that I have become a bit resistant the idea of getting close to anyone. After the break up in 2010 I have kept most people at arm’s length not letting myself get too close. I’m a very trusting person but keep my heart really closed off to anything really more than friendship or fling. I’ve met plenty of guys in clubs and bars, only to share a few dances and then I tend to float away. I just have no interest in starting a relationship with someone that I meet at a club, not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just not a place where I hang out anymore, so when that question comes up “so do you come here often?” I always answer with a “nope, hardly”. Unfortunately there’s not a plethora of men that like to hang out at Target & Publix on the weekends, or I would be all set.

Let me be honest and say outright that I am not on the hunt for a man, I know some people that currently go out in the hopes of meeting their Prince Charming but I am not one of them. I like to meet people in laid back organic ways, not in a hunting prey way. Plus in every long term relationship I’ve been in, we have started out as friends, everything is easier and less pressure that way. It will just happen with the right person at the right time and usually when you least expect it.

I’ve suffered some heartbreak in the past but I’m going to keep my heart open and stop worrying about the ‘what ifs’. Going to take some chances and see what will happen because you just never know.It’s really not fair to let a few broken hearts keep me from meeting the right person because of the past. I’m starting 2012 in the right direction and without fear.

Some knowledge I’ve picked up:

Losing the fear and admitting you have feelings for someone has got to be one of the most scary things but yet one of the most exciting things. Even if they reject the idea it still shows that you had enough guts to make the move in the first place because life is too short. So stop pining over a person that doesn’t like you romantically or won’t admit to it, move on and be proud that you were true to yourself and feelings at the moment.

Also confidence goes a long way, but relying on others to make you feel good about yourself is a bad idea. What happens when it all stops for some reason? Not a good situation.

Don’t automatically write off someone because they aren’t your “type”. It’s possible they have more in common with you than you see at first glance.

I don’t know how this post went from about me personally to seeming like a dating guidebook but I hope you get some insight or at least some knowledge from this post.

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2 Comments

  1. “Unfortunately there’s not a plethora of men that like to hang out at Target & Publix on the weekends, or I would be all set.”

    First off, that made me LOL. 🙂

    Next… I understand what you mean about feeling the need to guard yourself, or being resistant, as you said, to getting close to anyone. I’m definitely in that boat. After my last LTR (4 years, plus another weird year of way-too-close-friendship with said ex… shit, we’re still good friends but I’ve tried to start putting him aside for my own mental health), I think i’ve only really like 2 people. With the first, I wound up in the boat of what you said, “Losing the fear and admitting you have feelings for someone has got to be one of the most scary things but yet one of the most exciting things.” He told me he liked me first, and he practically forced the truth out of me, and it was amazing and depressing because I was leaving town and so was he and we live in different states. As for the second one, I never really said it, but I suppose he knows. It was a short lived romance that I guess I’m still recovering from. It… sucks. But I know it’ll get better with time.

    Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say thanks for the post. It’s always nice to hear other people say the shit you’re thinking that you might not want to admit to yourself.

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